I’ll be honest with 2 kids age 2 and under it’s hard to find the time or energy to make special time for us. Being with the same person for almost 20 years is also a challenge in itself and we have had to get creative sometimes to keep that spark alive. I’ve had some really great ideas and some epic failures over the years but I know I need to keep focused on my relationship with my Husband and keep dating him like we did before we got married as he’s worth it. I don’t want to be one of those couples who has nothing in common after their kids leave the nest and then get divorced. I have to admit that being married has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because I have to keep working on it every day, compromising and taking another set of feelings into consideration with everything I do.

With that in mind, I’ll share my top 3 tips that have helped us over the years and my number one resource for inspiration to keep the magic happening.

• I’ll take time to let him know I’m thinking about him. I admit sometimes I even get corny cards from the dollar store as they are 2 for $1. I’ll send a nice text while he’s at work as that really makes his day better or at least anticipate coming home. On the rare days I actually make his lunch (he leaves by 5am daily) I’ll write a joke on a banana or slip a silly note in his lunchbox to make him laugh. When he leaves on business trips I try to slip a note in his bag to find when he gets there. The bottom line is that I want him to know I’m thinking about him constantly so I try to make sure I let him know with little gestures instead of just thinking he knows. He reciprocates with getting me little treats like a drink, pastries, flowers or a candy bar from the gas station/grocery store when he stops on his way home from work.
• Sometimes I like to show him I care by going out of my way to prepare a nicer meal for our family for dinner than our regular menu items. For example I’ll prepare a big meal like falafel, pita bread, tzatziki sauce, curry sauce, riced cauliflower tabbouleh, kalamata olives, lemons and different kinds of hummus. If I’m feeling like going all out I’ll put a tablecloth, pull out a bottle of wine, cloth napkins and tea lights in crystal holders out and serve the meal on our China. It really goes a long way in the wooing department since he knows how hard it is right now with the 2 little ones to run after all day long.
• I’ll be the first to say that role playing or costumes might not be for everyone, but it works for us. I’ll dress up as a sexy police officer, a sexy nurse, a secretary, sexy Mrs. Claus, sexy Bo Peep, a playboy bunny, etc. and role play with my spouse. It adds an element of fun that we don’t get to have too often and I like to tell myself I get more use out of it as both a holiday costume (if it’s nice enough) and as lingerie lol. I usually pick up a new costume or two after Halloween/holidays when they are dirt cheap and since it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive I can keep my options open to super inexpensive ones on clearance. I’ve been eyeing a cave woman costume as my next purchase after Halloween this year to add to my collection because I can easily see how that could be used for role playing after the kids go to bed. My last purchase was Cruella DeVil (from 101 Dalmatians) and its definitely fun to role play that character. I think my Husband was shocked (in a good way) this last year when I pulled my top down on my costume and I was wearing jewel sticker pasties underneath.

When I run out of inspiration or need a quick idea/printable for that night, my go to resource is…Dating Divas. I’ve had so many inspirational ideas and amazing dates from these ladies over the years that I have to give them a shout out. My favorites have been the star wars movies, sexy spice rack, and star gazing. They have hundreds of great ideas and even free printables for you to make a date night easy peasy.

I hope some of these things help you stay connected to your partner as much as it has for us because we both take our vows seriously. I know if I don’t actually try to make my relationship work by putting in the time and effort it needs, then it won’t work at all.

~JennyCup